Yesterday my mood was terribly off
because of the pressure created by my family regarding my marriage. From the
past few months I am avoiding such discussions but now it’s become impossible
to avoid it. To divert my mind in some other stuff, I opened my sis laptop and there
I saw one document named bio data. When I opened it, it was my bio data for
marriage proposal. In that bio data all my good points like academic record,
job, etc. were highlighted. It reminded me of a marketing collateral which I
prepared last week for our newly developed software so that customers can buy
it!!!
Arrange marriage is like that only.
Isn’t it???? In fact the entire process is strange where people are going to judge
you on the basis of your bio data, photograph, and your outer beauty.
ARRANGE MARRIAGE: PROCESS FLOW
A SHEET OF PAPER - Ops
sorry Bio data that is designed based on your date and time of birth, your
family details and it would be passed to those people whom your family wants to
take the chance with. This sheet also contains information about your work,
complexion, height, hobbies, etc. etc….
It is more or less similar to your resume
which you upload on different job portals and on the basis of which recruiters evaluates
you whether you are suitable for the applied job or not!!!
Let’s come back to our marriage bio
data as we are not searching a job. We are searching a person here. Based on
this sheet of paper, (comparing the horoscope of both boy and girl) astrologer
will tell how compatible the boy and girl will be with each other. Strange that people trust this sheet more
than themselves!!!
Once the astrologer tells you that
horoscope are matching, then you go ahead towards the next step which is say
cheese or scrutiny of all your previous photographs.
SAY CHEESE –Since your horoscope is
matching oops sorry perfectly matching and you both are made for each other
types couple so the next step is exchange of photographs. Of course one should
know whether his/her partner is smart/ beautiful or not before they say a “yes”
or “no”. Trust me it is more or less a kind of Sales activity. In my team I am
fully involved in developing sales strategy for new solutions. So from my
experience I am saying that…
The best
you look in the photograph the more you are in demand!! May it be photo editing or
May it is natural. Your photo may be a pass to him/her or fail. If it is passed,
then there you go further…..
BACKGROUND
VERIFICATION - Before meeting, you may talk with your prospective partner over the phone
and want to make sure that you are getting into the right family. Your parents
may conduct a family background check. It is similar to the background
verification check which your new company performs when you are about to join
it. In fact in my current organization, BG verification is very tough
When I was in
Hyderabad, one of my colleagues got fired because of fake experience letter.
But if you belong to a big family with
rich dad and big status or at a very good professional position then don’t
bother about this small step. You already
are in very HIGH DEMAND!!!
LIVE
MEETING:
After clearing all the above steps if you are still interested in him/her then
here you go to the live meeting. In this step, you will meet with the person of
your choice. (Sorry! I use the word YOUR
choice. Please ignore it. Read it as the WORLD’S CHOICE for you!!!). The guy
and gal get the chance to look at and talk to each other. Early days location
would have been a temple, own house etc. But now we have improved to meet at
CCD, malls, food courts
There’s lots of discussion regarding
your personal and professional likes and dislikes will happen. Don’t get irritated
or shocked if your prospective groom discuss silly questions like you have to
leave your job after marriage or you cannot leave your job because he wants a
working wife only or bring red roses for you or if your prospective bride asks
for a separate house after marriage as she cannot adjust with your family
members. So be mentally prepared.
After all it is an arranged marriage!!!
Sometimes in this step you have to pretend
in front of your partner that you are enjoying his/her company but in reality
you are totally irritated by his/her pretensions, fake English ascent, etc.
etc…
FINAL DEAL –After one or two-three
meetings (if you are lucky), the final decision of being REJECTED (Sometimes
the reason can be silly too like your height, weight, job, education, age,
etc.) or of being SELECTED is declared to other family and date of the wedding
is fixed.
Wait a minute final deal also
includes the dowry matters too. How much would you pay (car, property, gold,
etc.) to get yourself selected?
In short, you are hired! May be in
between many a times you have decided that you don’t want to get married or why
you have opted for an arrange marriage. Basically you are now here to start a
new life filled with responsibilities and risks with an “unknown person”.
I hope you have chosen the right
person. But don’t worry as in our society we believe that Marriages are made in
heaven so whether it’s right or wrong, it’s GOD’s CHOICE only
For me, I am praying for a long on-site
opportunity so that I can go out from India. Today my manager told me about one
project in Australia but for that I have to wait till 6-7
months.
Let’s see what will happen…..
